Guy In Matchmaking Lobby Still Really Fired Up About Bernie Sanders

“Alright team, how’s everyone doin’ tonight? Anyone else here #FeelinTheBern? That’s why I’m locking in Brand!” Words of warning and fear for four innocent League of Legends players. With dawning horror, each of them realized that their teammate, using the screen name Weeknd@Bernies, was still unironically campaigning for Bernie Sanders, in 2018. “The corporate profiteers in Congress don’t want us to know this, but BERNIE CAN STILL WIN THIS!!! When Trump and his entire cabinet get impeached after the #BlueMidterm, the Senate will get to VOTE IN replacements! If we all work together and vote out all these ‘establishment’ #Sh1%lls, there’s no way he’ll lose again! #Bernie4Prez, amirite guys?” “It was so goddamn awful,” reported Silver III Braum main PublicDlasher, who had queued up hoping to play one last game of ranked before going to bed. “I went through 2016, of course, we all did, but… I don’t like to talk about it. I don’t even like to think about it. To know that someone like him is out there, someone trapped, desperately clinging to that last shred of hope… I’m not going to get any sleep tonight, let me tell you.” “Guys, when Bernie gets voted in, everything will be better,” an increasingly desperate Weeknd@Bernies continued to type, fourteen messages in and showing no sign of slowing down. “Free college, free food, free weed, man! I just can’t wait for the day. And the day is coming, right guys? I know it’s coming. It’s coming, right? #BerningItUp? #FutureToBelieveIn? C’mon guys, throw me a bone here! Where’s the #BernieLoveIsMyLove?” “And… I just sat there, frozen,” mumbled Gold V Zed main FakerNtheNUTT, “I-I couldn’t look away, but I couldn’t do anything to help. To think… there’s really someone out there…” Here, the distressed man finally broke down, sobbing like a baby. “Who hurt him? Who hurt him so badly that he must hurt himself, just to feel whole again?” When finally reached for comment, the mysterious Weeknd@Bernies only response was “Oh, no, I didn’t actually vote for him. I was only 18.”